Max & Paddy's Road to Nowhere

Max and paddy are in Dover, where they buy a dodgy plasma screen from a crooked gypsy. However the screen has no speakers, and so to let off steam the doorman go clubbing. Picking up a couple of girls, the lads soon find they have been the victims of robbers, and soon plan their payback on the girls.

Paddy decides to appear in a porn film, which he soon regrets. Meanwhile the campervan breaks down in the Midlands. With no other options they leave the van with a crooked garage owner who tries to charge them money for no work. After sleeping in the woods they start to plan how to steal their van back.

The lads travel down to London after spotting an advertisement for the 40th birthday of an old friend of Max. Whilst there Max discovers 'the wolfsters' new wife is his ex Tina, but also they have a ten year old son. Max soon realises it's his son and starts to plan a way to finally meet him.

After the previous episode the duo are now being held on remand in prison. Things get worse for the duo when Brian Potter turns up, determined to get his doormen out of jail. The prisoners also turn against them after finding they are not big time thiefs, money they have also promised to Mr. Big for the easy life. Tina finally gets the duo out, but now before a payback for Potter Is due.

The duo are traveling the country, where they accidentally run over a cow. After finding where it came from they buy a prize pig from the old farmer for £100. After trying to sell it they find it is not worth anywhere near the price they paid. Finally deciding to return the pig, they discover the old man doesn't own the farm, his kids do. Worst of all he has already drank the £100 down the local pub.

The lads finally get to the north east to see an old friend, Billy Shannon who has just come out of prison. He seems obsessed with Max, but hates Paddy as he had previously taken his doorman job. Things finally come to a head at a service station where Billy tries to shoot Paddy. Billy is finally arrested, but not before shooting Paddy in the arse.