Notes
My quick rating - 5.0/10. Andy (Charlize Theron) and her band of immortal warriors return in The Old Guard 2, determined to protect humanity from yet another looming threat. Sadly, the only real threat here is to your patience.
Let’s start off on the right foot: there are definitely positives. The film opens with a bang, an energetic, adrenaline-soaked sequence that reminds you exactly why the first installment worked. The choreography throughout is actually quite solid, offering up clean, well-staged fight scenes that look slick on screen. The visual style pops too, with enough vibrant colors and dynamic camera work to keep your eyes entertained, if not your brain. And I cannot complain about the cast. Theron still brings that cool, weathered edge to Andy, and it’s a kick seeing Uma Thurman show up as the villainous Discord, especially once swords get drawn.
Unfortunately, that’s pretty much where my list of highlights ends.
After that exciting opener, the movie hits the brakes hard. Outside of a one-on-one street fight—which looked more like a carefully choreographed martial arts demo than an actual desperate battle—the middle section drags painfully. It’s as if the filmmakers forgot immortality doesn’t mean your audience is going to sit around forever waiting for something to happen. Even worse, when the film does try to inject humor, it often comes across unintentionally, laugh-out-loud moments in scenes that clearly were aiming for tense or profound. I honestly can’t believe anyone thought that helicopter sequence was a good idea. It was just plain dumb, no other way to put it.
The plot is where things really fall apart. It’s painfully simplistic, seemingly aimed at a teenage crowd with absolutely no expectation for depth or internal logic. Characters we’re supposed to care about remain shallow, barely sketched out beyond their surface quirks. Even at a relatively lean 107 minutes, there isn’t enough meaningful story here to justify the runtime. Instead, the movie leans heavily on world-building crumbs that feel like setup for yet another sequel. The problem? They didn’t bother to actually wrap this story up. It’s all just left dangling on an open-ended cliffhanger that feels downright insulting given how little they accomplished here.
And that’s a real shame. I’ve always loved a good immortality flick—The first Highlander was outstanding, and even the original Old Guard back in 2020 earned a solid 6.7/10 from me. It had fun characters, slick action, and enough heart to make you care. This sequel feels like half a movie. Sure, there’s some intriguing expansion of the lore that could, in theory, pay off down the road. But if it takes another five years to get a follow-up, I and most likely the rest of you will have forgotten the scattered pieces this one awkwardly tried to set in place.
In the end, The Old Guard 2 is still watchable thanks to its strong cast, occasional thrills, and polished look. Just don’t go in expecting the same level of entertainment as the first. It’s a big disappointment by comparison—an empty vessel that somehow manages to feel both rushed and stretched thin. I gave this a middling 5.0, mostly on the strength of the action and cast alone. Let’s just hope they figure out how to deliver a complete story next time—if there ever is one.
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