Saint Clare

Cast View all

	Bella Thorne	Clare Bleeker
	Ryan Phillippe	Detective Timmons
	Rebecca De Mornay	Gigi Newberry
	Joy Rovaris	Julianna LeBlanc
	Jan Luis Castellanos	Truman Quirk
	Dylan Flashner	Wade Bradon
	Erica Dasher	Amity Liston
	Frank Whaley	Bob the Mailman
	Bart Johnson	Randall Morton
	Joel Michaely	Cole Edwards
	Juliet Sterner	Young Clare
	Erin Eva Butcher	Chloe Newberry
	Shannon Cogan	News Anchor
	Tenley Stitzer	Costume Gal
	Tai Rosenblatt	Assistant Director
	Clyde Harper	College Dean
	Mateo Sollano	Party Goer
	Jordan Myers	High School Girl
	AJ Rivera	Theater Kid
	Myrom Kingery	The Burly Man
	Lisa Marie Blake	Mrs. Harris
	Jeron Bray	Crew Guy
	Ali Alsaleh	Crew Guy
	Rick Toscano	Justin
	Tyra D.	High School Girl 1

Crew View all

Director	Mitzi Peirone
Writer	Mitzi Peirone, Guinevere Turner, Don Roff
Producer	Tifanie Jodeh, Anna Margarita Albelo, Tamara Birkemoe, Thor Bradwell, David Chackler, Tom Culliver, Mark Damon, Arielle Elwes, Cassian Elwes, Brandon Fidanque, Peter Graham, Lawrence Greenberg, Jere Hausfater, Stephen Hays, Patrick Josten, Walter Josten, Jennifer Lamb, Berry Meyerowitz, Joel Michaely, Joel David Moore, Seth Needle, Max Osswald, Mark Pavia, Veronica Radaelli, Nadia Redler, Don Roff, Jeff Sackman, Emily Hunter Salveson, Dave Sereny
Musician	Zola Jesus, Philip Klein
Photography	Luka Bazeli

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Notes

My quick rating - 4.2/10. Bella Thorne stars as a soft-spoken vigilante in Saint Clare, a movie that dares to ask the question: what if Dexter (yes, I am finally binging ALL of this show) had way less blood, no tension, and hung out with a ghostly postman instead of doing anything remotely horrifying?

Set in a quiet town where people go missing almost as fast as the film’s pacing, Saint Clare follows Clare Bleecker, a college student who moonlights as a part-time angel of death, offing the “evil” in society—though you’ll have to take the film’s word for it, because the evil-doing is mostly implied via gossip and shady auras. Instead of actual wrongdoing, most of the targets come off like people who cut in line at Starbucks or forgot to tip.

Thorne does her best to bring a strange, dazed gravity to Clare, but the poor girl seems perpetually confused, even when she’s stalking bad guys, attending weird school plays, or chilling with her grandma (played by Rebecca De Mornay, who’s so unrecognizable I kicked myself for not realizing it was her). And yes, that was Frank Whaley as Bob the mailman, her undead conscience-slash-guide who died due to a mix-up that makes Weekend at Bernie’s look like a documentary on responsible living.

The trailer teased visions from beyond, which sounded ominous, but really just means Bob shows up now and then to deliver cryptic life coaching with all the urgency of someone handing you expired coupons. The horror? Nonexistent. The action? Sparse. The tension? Let's just say the real suspense came from wondering if Ryan Phillippe's detective would ever do anything more than squint at Bella in disbelief.

And oh, the twist. When the trafficking ring’s Big Bad is finally revealed, it hits Clare like a ton of bricks… despite being telegraphed so loudly, I’m surprised she didn’t get a postcard about it from Ghost Bob. By the time Clare starts connecting the dots, you half expect her to accidentally stab a mirror and yell, “Aha! It was me all along!” (don't worry, that isn't it)

Mitzi Peirone directs with a steady-enough hand, but the tone can’t decide if it wants to be eerie, philosophical, or a CW pilot. It ends on a “you'll be seeing more of Clare” note, which might be the scariest thing about the whole film.

In short, Saint Clare is like if Ghost Whisperer and Revenge had a baby, but forgot to feed it any plot. Thorne fans might enjoy her performance—she’s committed, even if the script isn’t—but for the rest of us, this is more Saint Snore than Saint Clare.

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