Anaconda

Cast View all

	Jack Black	Doug McCallister
	Paul Rudd	Ronald Griffin Jr.
	Steve Zahn	Kenny Trent
	Thandie Newton	Claire Simons
	Daniela Melchior	Ana Almeida
	Selton Mello	Santiago
	Ice Cube	Ice Cube
	Ione Skye	Malie
	Rui Ricardo Diaz	Joao
	John Billingsley	Jerry
	Sebastian Sero	Charlie
	Diego Arnary	Paulo
	Dan Silveira	Timo
	Anna Francesca Armenia	Bride
	Jarred Blakiston	Groom
	John Voce	Groom's Dad
	Lisa Kay	Groom's Mom
	Ronald Smyck	Director
	Ben Lawson	TV MD - Brant Markham
	Renee Herbert	Set PA
	Romeo Ellard	Young Griff
	Reagan George	Young Kenny
	Aimee Bah	Young Claire
	Jack Waters	Young Doug
	Yasmin Kassim	Bank Manager

Crew View all

Director	Tom Gormican
Writer	Tom Gormican, Kevin Etten, Hans Bauer, Jim Cash, Jack Epps Jr.
Producer	Kevin Etten, Andrew Form, Brad Fuller, Alex Ginno, Tom Gormican, Matthew Hirsch, Samson Mucke, Erin Vitali
Musician	David Fleming
Photography	Nigel Bluck

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Personal

Notes

My quick rating - 5.9/10. Revisiting Anaconda nearly three decades later is either a terrible idea or a stroke of inspired madness, and this 2025 reboot/sequel/very self-aware remix hits comfortably somewhere in between. It centers around a group of middle-aged friends facing various midlife issues. This flick leans hard into the nostalgia and meta humor, sometimes to its benefit and other times not so much.

Jack Black, Paul Rudd, Steve Zahn, and Thandiwe Newton play friends who decide to remake their favorite movie from their youth. Yes, Anaconda (1997), after unearthed footage of their homemade horror VHS called "The Quatch" reappears, which they shot as kids. That opening sequence is genuinely charming and instantly sets the tone, and it also triggered a bit of personal rage on my end, reminding me that I never managed to track down our own homemade high school monstrosity. But back to the movie and not my unresolved trauma.

The group somehow secures funding, slaps together a script, and heads into the Brazilian rainforest (actually Australia, and yes, I clocked that immediately). Anyone who’s read my Jungle review knows where this kind of decision-making usually leads. Unsurprisingly, their plan involves wandering into the jungle to “find” a giant snake for authenticity, after their trained one gets mutilated. Hollywood logic reigns supreme here, and given the sheer number of dumbass decisions on display, it’s honestly a miracle the body count isn’t higher.

The comedy is hit-and-miss. There are genuinely funny moments, but the film often leans too hard on repeating the same joke until it starts wheezing. The extended “pee on Jack Black’s leg to counteract spider venom” gag is a prime example. Amusing concept, dragged out far too long, but at least it gives you something to laugh at. A standout bit involves the group encountering another boat on the river that’s literally shooting a Sony-backed Anaconda remake, which got one of the biggest laughs out of me.

The snake itself looks fantastic. The CGI sells the scale and menace without going full cartoon, and visually the film is stronger than it has any right to be. Nigel Bluck’s cinematography adds a few stylish flourishes, and yes, Jack Black clearly had a blast making this. You’ll know exactly why when you see it.

Performance-wise, this movie lives or dies on its cast, and thankfully, it mostly lives. Rudd and Black click instantly, Zahn’s comic timing is razor sharp as ever, and Selton Mello is terrific as snake-handler Santiago. Newton is solid but underused, which feels like a missed opportunity. The Ice Cube inclusion is a clever touch, and the Jennifer Lopez cameo is a genuinely fun nod to the original.

Ultimately, Anaconda is best described as fun. Not sharp, not particularly brave, but fun. It recognizes the clichés of reboots and remakes without fully committing to satirizing them, so this flick winks at the Hollywood machine but never quite bites. Leave logic at the door, enjoy the charm, and let the snake do the rest. I'll have to go dig up the original one now.

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