The Pacifier (Widescreen Edition)

Vin Diesel is game to soften his tough-guy image in The Pacifier, in which he plays hot-shot Navy S.E.A.L. Shane Wolfe, whose latest mission goes awry when the scientist he's sent to rescue is popped off before he can tell Wolfe where he's hidden some Top Secret software something-or-other. Before you can say Kindergarten Cop, Wolfe is assigned guard duty at the scientist's family home, where he's left with some unruly kids when the widow (Faith Ford) takes off to Switzerland to claim her hubby's safety deposit box under the guidance of Wolfe's superior officer. The trouble with this paint-by-numbers fish-out-of-water kiddie comedy is that Diesel himself is a fish out of water in the movie--he's no comic and is far funnier when he's unintentionally spoofing macho heroics in The Chronicles of Riddick. The film limply throws everything it can at you, including the idea of Wolfe directing a community theater production of The Sound of Music, but is just biding its time until the predictable action climax and hugs-all-around denouement. Vin doesn't look embarrassed, but the supporting cast sure does, especially Everybody Loves Raymond's Brad Garrett as a bombastic vice principal and Gilmore Girls' Lauren Graham as Garrett's boss and Diesel's sudden love interest.--Steve Wiecking