Wiped: Life With A Pint-Sized Dictator

Plot

After her little bundle of joy, Rowan (a.k.a The Dictator), arrives, Rebecca Eckler wonders when the promised "rewarding" part will kick in. She wasn`t supposed to trade in tight jeans for baggy sweatpants, or give up the dream of sound sleep and a passionate sex life. Yet even in the throes of her exhaustion, Eckler gleans and shares some sound advice for modern moms, including everything you need to know on:The Diaper Genie: "It`s been six weeks and we have yet to use this `must-have` baby item because we can`t figure out how the damn thing works."Achievement: "No matter how well I had done in school, no matter what my career accomplishments were, my mother had never been so proud of me as when I gave birth."Keeping up appearances: "How is it possible that I haven`t had a drink in months, yet I still look worse than I ever did hungover?"The effectiveness of baby monitors: "You can hear a baby screaming through walls. Unless you live in the Taj Mahal and place your baby at the other end of the palace, there is no way you won`t hear her cry."Size matters: "I had made the mistake of trying on a pair of pre-pregnancy jeans, which I couldn`t get up past my knees. It was the worst decision I have ever made."With the same dry wit as in her hilarious chronicle Knocked Up: Confessions of a Hip Mother-to-be, Eckler sets the record straight on being a new mom: the highs, the lows, and the sheer bliss that comes when you`re dealing with the demands of someone who`s not very large, but undeniably in charge.