Becoming a Jewish Parent: How to Explore Spirituality and Tradition with Our Children

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Amazon.com Review
When kids ask parents questions about God, it can be difficult to know how to answer them. In Becoming a Jewish Parent, Daniel Gordis notes that parents could very well "tell [kids] all the things we're not sure about, all the reasons we could come up with to doubt that God is 'out there.'" But he suggests a different approach. When answering children's questions about God, Gordis suggests that parents pause to consider what drives their children's curiosity.

Is our job at such moments to give our kids information, or is it to build a safe, secure, nurturing sense of the world, one in which they can begin to make Jewish life a core part of who they are? When we talk to our kids about God, we're not 'information providers.' Rather, we're 'world builders,' the people who are most responsible for the outlook on life our children will develop and carry with them for a lifetime.

Handling the God question is just one topic in this extensive reference book that includes chapters on all of the major Jewish holidays, birth rituals for boys and girls, Bar and Bat Mitzvah, dating, going to college, and difficult experiences such as divorce and death and burial. Gordis, a rabbi and professor with three children of his own, has a lively and personable voice, and even his apparently unconventional ideas are grounded in his deep knowledge of Jewish Scripture and tradition. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
From Library Journal
Gordis (G-d Was Not in the Fire: The Search for a Spiritual Judaism) deals directly with an issue that, arguably, embarrasses Americans more than money or sexAspirituality. Never hortatory or facile, always understanding and caring, he delves into the problems of parenting for those Jews who want, or are forced by circumstance, to bring Judaism into their lives through their children. He explores how spirituality adds depth and meaning to the yearly cycle of Jewish holidays and to everyday life, emphasizing community and family and suggesting a road to wise choices. Also included is a glossary of terms and names, a quick bird's-eye view of Jewish history, and excellent suggestions for further reading. An act of love and faith on the part of its author, this is one of the finest treatments of spirituality and parenting ever published. The writing is a masterpiece of intelligence and clarity. Highly recommended for any community library where there are people looking to inject faith into their lives, this would also make an excellent teaching tool for community leaders.AIdelle Rudman, Touro Coll. Lib., New York
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
From Booklist
A professor and rabbi tackles the topic of raising Jewish children in a secular society. Gordis is particularly clear-sighted on this issue and doesn't miss hitting any hot buttons. For instance, he understands that many Jews are ambivalent about their religion, and he explores the difficulties that develop when parents try to convey the importance of traditions that they either don't fully understand or don't accept. Another issue he confronts is the problem of raising girls in a religion that is not always female-friendly. Gordis' willingness to tackle the tough subjects notwithstanding, most of his book's thrust is in the direction of promoting the positive, not parrying the negative. Whether its introducing the holidays, exploring the history, or showing children how to live Jewish lives, Gordis offers useful, often creative ideas. His book is a responsive answer to many parents' questions. Ilene Cooper --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
From Kirkus Reviews
Rabbi Gordis, dean of the University of Judaisms rabbinical school, has written extensively about why adult Jews should care about Judaism (Does the World Need the Jews?, 1997, etc.). In his latest book, he explains why parents should care about their children's Jewish identity and suggests strategies for getting the kids themselves enthusiastic about Judaism. Gordis provides some basics for those parents whose memories of Hebrew school are fuzzy: When is Purim, why do Jews fast the day before, and what are those triangular pastries people eat at Purim-time? What is that archaic Aramaic document our rabbi wants to read at our son's wedding? But this is more than a how-to. In characteristic fashion, Gordis addresses the larger spiritual questions that lurk beneath the surface of seemingly innocent hamantashen: Should we bother introducing our kids to the Jewish God if ``we're sure we don't believe''? What role should rituals invented by men zillions of years ago play in our life? Though aimed at Jewish parents, Raising Jewish Children will prove thought-provoking for a wider audience. Gordis recounts his daughter's asking him, `` `What was God doing when she was a little girl?' . . . . Talia's question . . . taught me that when we nonchalantly call God `He,' we steal something from our little girls.'' That is just one of many lessons in Gordis's book that will benefit both Jews and Gentiles, parents and those with no plans to procreate. -- Copyright ©1999, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Product Description
How do you talk to your kids about God?

Raising Jewish children in today's secular culture poses unique and serious challenges. How do you instill a positive, vital sense of identity, religion, and heritage without turning off your kids or overwhelming them? How do you explain what it means to be Jewish if you are ambivalent about it yourself? And perhaps most important, how do parents who have little or no formal religious training themselves pass on rich, multilayered traditions that may have been missing from their own childhood experiences? Filled with delightful and inspiring anecdotes, thoughtful information about the history, holidays, and traditions that shape Judaism, as well as a useful glossary and thorough reference section, Becoming a Jewish Parent offers guidance on such topics as:
Using ritual to make space for feeling
Talking about God when we have our doubts
Incorporating girls into what has been a primarily male tradition
Becoming part of a community that supports your ideals

Becoming a Jewish Parent is the book to turn to at every phase of your family's spiritual quest.
From the Inside Flap
How do you talk to your kids about God?

Raising Jewish children in today's secular culture poses unique and serious challenges. How do you instill a positive, vital sense of identity, religion, and heritage without turning off your kids or overwhelming them? How do you explain what it means to be Jewish if you are ambivalent about it yourself? And perhaps most important, how do parents who have little or no formal religious training themselves pass on rich, multilayered traditions that may have been missing from their own childhood experiences? Filled with delightful and inspiring anecdotes, thoughtful information about the history, holidays, and traditions that shape Judaism, as well as a useful glossary and thorough reference section, Becoming a Jewish Parent offers guidance on such topics as:
Using ritual to make space for feeling
Talking about God when we have our doubts
Incorporating girls into what has been a primarily male tradition
Becoming part of a community that supports your ideals

Becoming a Jewish Parent is the book to turn to at every phase of your family's spiritual quest.
From the Back Cover
"This book is a gem. It shows us how to enrich our children's lives with Judaism, from the moment they wake up to that blessed moment they fall asleep -- and everything in between. In the process, we become better parents and smarter Jews."
-- Ari L. Goldman, author of The Search for God

"An act of love and faith on the part of its author, this is one of the finest treatments of spirituality and parenting ever published. . . . A masterpiece of intelligence and clarity."
-- Library Journal
About the Author
A rabbi and professor, DANIEL GORDIS is the author of two previous books: God Was Not in the Fire: The Search for a Spiritual Judaism and Does the World Need Jews?: Rethinking Chosenness and American Jewish Identity. He and his wife are raising a daughter and two sons.