Barney Miller: The Complete Series

When a drug addict holds the precinct hostage, Captain Barney Miller has to talk him out of it.

When a drug addict holds the precinct hostage, Captain Barney Miller has to talk him out of it.

A bomber targets the 12th Precinct. Fish contemplates retirement.

The squad guards a department store payroll. A flasher attempts suicide in the bathroom.

Barney's friend is assigned to investigate allegations of corruption in the 12th precinct. Chano pursues an obscene phone caller.

Wojo reveals his hatred for prostitutes but ends up falling for one. Rachel wants her own apartment.

Nosy neighbors interfere with a stakeout operation.

Among others, the 12th hosts a drunken bureaucrat and the 12-year-old who robbed Chano's apartment. Wojo forces the precinct's favorite deli closed for minor health code infractions.

An overeager female officer disrupts the all-male squad. Chano arrests an obscene phone caller.

Inspector Luger visits Barney to complain that the public doesn't dislike his men enough. Wojo arrests a cross-dressing teamster. A neighborhood vigilante is "over the hill."

The Precinct reluctantly guards a Mafia witness. Chano uses his fellow officers' cash reserve to set up a narcotics buy.

Barney holds a resourceful escaped prisoner for the FBI. A self-declared "bird-man" drops in. Harris decides to write a novel.

A Serpico replica joins the squad temporarily. Bernice discovers that Fish spent the afternoon in a massage parlor.

Chano deals with psychological trauma after killing two bank robbers. Liz makes a citizen's arrest of her assailant -- an eight-year-old boy.

A disgruntled man wearing a belt of dynamite threatens to detonate himself and the squad room. Wojo arrests a fraudulent priest. The squad room plumbing goes haywire.

Liz tires of housework and tries her hand at social work, to Barney's dismay. Harris is intrigued by a master forger.

A city-wide labor layoff forces Barney, Fish, and Yemana to do without the services of Chano, Harris and Wojo. A morose stockbroker resorts to petty theft.

Yemana is shot in plain sight of disinterested bystanders. Barney is offered a job in Florida.

A wife claims spousal abuse. Wojo and Wentworth go undercover to catch a park rapist.

The officers look out for an arsonist. Chano arrests a man who assaulted a vending machine with a deadly weapon.

Wojo and Wentworth go undercover as a married couple to break up a burglary ring set in an upscale hotel.

Marty claims that a member of the precinct is harassing the gay community. The precinct computers have recorded Fish as dead.

Two kilos of confiscated marijuana disappears from the evidence locker. A homeless man spends his nights in a a series of department stores.

A hansom cab owner reports his horse as missing. A man is assaulted in his hotel room; yet he insists he was alone.

The squad must work through the precinct roof threatening to collapse from the rain and a nightclub comic's Bicentennial jokes.

A look at Fish's home life results when he decides to go on restricted duty. Steve Landesberg steps in as Arthur Dietrich. Doris Belack substitutes for Florence Stanley as Bernice Fish.

A man is convinced that a photo of Jean Harlow is of his missing wife. A pair of female officers makes an overzealous drug bust.

Citizens are in a panic over rumors that the 12th Precinct is being shut down. A repentant hood can't prove that he committed a crime.

On New Year's Eve, Wojo delivers a baby, and Fish tries to stop a jumper.

Wojo and Luger become targets of a sniper. A con man is selling charter flights to Saturn.

Although Wojo is afraid of flying, he must escort a bigamist to Cleveland. Meanwhile, the bigamist's New York wife turns up at the precinct. A man turns in an unmarked envelope containing $3,500 in cash, anxious to know when he will able to claim it.

Wentworth is furious when Chano gets the credit for the arrest she made of an assassin at a block party.

Wentworth arrests a dime-store cowboy in a massage parlor. The detectives arrest a mugger who's in her eighties.

A psychiatrist advises the department to confiscate Wojo's gun.

Fish is attracted to a mugger's mother. A man who turned in $3,500 he found a few weeks ago is anxious to know whether the owner has claimed it.

A burglar known as "The Mole" leads Harris and Wojo on a chase through the city sewer system. Fish considers an operation.

Wojo is alarmed to learn that New York City doesn't have an up-to-date emergency evacuation procedure. Fish meets Jilly Pappalardo, a young thief.

Wojo brings in a sick perpetrator who collapses on the floor. The entire precinct is placed under quarantine, including a prostitute who gets friendly with Fish, Marty, Mr Driscoll, and Inspector Luger.

The entire 12th Precinct is under quarantine for the night, including the civilians, due to the threat of smallpox. Being cooped up in the same room together with no air conditioning starts to affect the men negatively. It gets worse when they overhear Harris' very vocal dreams where he seems to have a problem with everyone. The rest of the men share personal stories and conversations while waiting to hear from the medical lab if the pox is smallpox or just chicken pox.

A robber is confined to the precinct with his bus load of victims.

It's Election Day. A woman, being prevented by her husband from voting, throws a toilet seat into the street to get attention. A shoplifter is escorted to vote by Wojo and then lost by him. Inspector Luger campaigns for a political crony.

A man claiming to be a werewolf causes a disturbance in the park.

A man who hasn't left his apartment since World War II is brought in for refusing to serve jury duty. A prophet claims the end is near, i.e. 5:30 p.m.

Wojo brings in a man for refusing to help a mugging victim, but Barney doesn't think a crime has been committed.

The precinct endures a power failure and a man with a split personality.

Fish goes undercover to catch a mugger who's targeting Santas. Wojo doesn't know how to tell Yemana that his Christmas Eve date is a call girl. Luger fishes for an Christmas Day invitation from Barney.

Everyone on the squad except Barney is stoned by hashish-laced brownies made by Wojo's new girlfriend. An actor and a critic duel with swords.

The city experiences a first-stage smog alert. A potential suicide victim is saved by a graffiti artist.

Barney is charged with harassment when he arrests a blind shoplifter. An evicted tenant threatens a landlord with a musket.

Wojo quits the force rather than return to uniformed patrol one week per month.

Thanks to a suicidal couple, the precinct may go up in flames.

A couple wants Barney's assistance with their cult-influenced daughter. Nick's bookie is arrested. Harris gets a short story published in a slick gentleman's magazine. Bernice interviews for a job over Fish's objections.

Barney investigates a sex clinic that more closely resembles a brothel. Harris investigates a rash of crimes apparently committed by a juvenile. Weary of waiting for a promotion, Levitt announces that he's quitting the force.

Barney discovers that Harris has a second job. Dietrich arrests a priest for fencing stolen goods. A racketeer is using a mentally challenged boy as an assistant.

Wojo prematurely grants asylum to a Russian defector. Marty is charged with a parole violation for possessing a half-ounce of marijuana.

Yemana assists a bigoted Army officer when a bomber threatens a recruiting facility. Fish takes a turn at mugging detail.

The city is threatened with a police force strike. A woman is robbed by her computer date.

Barney and Inspector Luger staff the precinct alone while the detectives are on strike.

Fish is nowhere to be found on his last day before he retires. A neighborhood vigilante group is out of control.

Fish finally reports for work but refuses to acknowledge that he is obligated to retire.

Recording devices discovered in the precinct may have come from Internal Affairs or the White House.

An environmentalist who has been attacking a chemical plant faces the corporation's high-priced lawyer.

Retired Detective Fish returns to assist Barney in locating a kidnapped corpse.

Yemana uses a TV Guide to second-guess the perpetrator who's mimicking crime shows. An alcoholic forgets his weapon in the commission of a hold-up.

A blizzard traps the precinct with a corpse. A self-proclaimed prophet predicts a new ice age.

Wojo crashes a borrowed cab chasing a robbery suspect. Lieutenant Scanlon uses a drug pusher to try to flush out corruption in the precinct.

The detectives clean up the mess after three mental patients have Thanksgiving dinner at an automat.

When a tunnel collapses, Wojo is buried alive along with a burglar digging toward a diamond exchange. Though he is currently homeless, Harris searches Manhattan for an apartment to fit his intended lifestyle.

A college student's physics project is really a functional atomic bomb.

A man wants a sperm bank charged with murder after the bank's lab accidentally destroys the man's last available sample.

The police do not believe a man who claims he's being visited by a poltergeist. Then they put the man in jail, and strange events begin occurring about the squad room.

Yemana is hospitalized with appendicitis. Guests to the jail include a sugar addict and an aging bounty hunter.

A woman wants her husband arrested on a rape charge. A master of disguise perpetuates a crime spree. To Yemana's delight, the city legalizes off-track betting.

Barney defies authority and refuses to evict the tenants of a condemned hotel. Luger tries to decide how to spend his vacation time.

A SWAT team is now involved with the hotel situation. Dietrich learns the identity of his amnesic girlfriend.

Barney would rather not know the details of Wojo's most recent difficulty. The new female detective's husband is suspicious of her co-workers. A shoplifter escapes-in a wheelchair.

Barney's been shot! The startling news paralyzes the precinct with dread and provokes Liz to draw the line. An elderly woman strenuously objects to the nude paintings on display in an art gallery.

A prisoner holds the squad at gunpoint. A ventriloquist insists he's not responsible for his dummy's insensitive remarks. Harris finally finds an apartment in the Village.

A porno shop reporting vandalism turns out to be a mom-and-pop operation being hassled by the parents' children. Harris arrests a numerologist who will only give his name as "1223." The squad members await their evaluations.

A man liquidates all of his assets into gold, much to his wife's dismay. Wojo claims he saw a UFO over Staten Island.

Harris does some intensive soul searching when he's offered a job on the mayor's security team.

A political activist kidnaps a department store magnate. Wojo arrests a prostitute and her business manager.

Wojo delivers the ransom money for the kidnapped department store owner. The prostitute charms Wojo and the victim's son.

The officers reopen a 28-year-old missing persons case. The host of a children's science show goes berserk. Harris takes a turn at cross-dressing mugging detail.

Wojo is bitten by a German Shepherd that may be rabid. The Millers prepare for their impending separation.

A German woman attempts to escape the country rather than surrender her baby to a baby broker's clients. Levitt resorts to stimulants to maintain his self-imposed thirty-six-hour shift.

An accusation against Dietrich leads to a visit from Lieutenant Scanlon of Internal Affairs. Yemana arrests a rabbi who is running a gambling casino in his synagogue.

A prisoner released after serving his sentence has difficulty adjusting to civilian life. A cat burglar's widow continues the family business.

Harris arrests a young loan shark. Barney notes some uncharacteristic behavior from Yemana. A tattoo artist refuses to remove his work from a client.

Barney suspects Levitt of vandalizing the squad room. A TV programming executive is assaulted in a coffee shop.

A rookie cop assumes Harris is a felon and shoots at him. A stockbroker leaves Wall Street to become a beggar.

A shoplifting suspect turns out to be a wanted 1960s-era radical, whose raging about the Vietnam War stirs up passions and polarizes the precinct. An overweight burglar becomes the butt of jokes.

Combatting toy makers create a disturbance. A claustrophobic prisoner has a problem with the jail cell. Barney faces his first holiday as a separated man.

Wojo is forced to arrest an aging Indian who only wants to die in the park. A woman's shoes are stolen-from her feet.

Lieutenant Scanlon tries to hunt corruption with a lie detector. Barney suspects a furrier's robbery report.

A paranoid spy holds the squad room at bay. The officers bring in a disorderly mime.

Wojo decides to move in with his girlfriend. A man tells his wife that he's leaving to become a mercenary.

Wojo struggles to co-exist with his girlfriend, a former prostitute.

Barney feels the aging process. Dietrich arrests an aging Olympic hopeful who practices his javelin toss in Central Park. A Hassidic Jew is the target of a diamond thief.

Harris pumps a counterfeiter for his life story. A man takes exception to a cosmetic surgeon's work on his wife.

The precinct hosts an open house that attracts only vagrants. Wojo and Harris try to get a lead on an arsonist. Barney's enthusiasm in moving back home is tempered by the hotel manager who refuses to refund him his upcoming month's rent.

The precinct is asked to assist a thief who is entering a witness relocation program. Harris quickly regrets the fact that Dietrich has saved his life.

A computer firm has difficulty retrieving embezzled funds. An educated young man claims to be under the influence of a voodoo curse.

The squad face the late shift with an irate tourist and a man who believes that he is being frequented by a succubus.

The death of Jack Soo in 1979 marked the passing of both a fine comedy actor and one of TV's most memorable characters: Nick Yemana, the deadpan detective known for his dry wit and wretched coffee. This tribute to Soo features reminiscences by the series regulars as well as some notable Yemana vignettes--Nick's curious response to an ink-blot test administered by a police psychiatrist; his attraction to a Japanese woman who turns out to be a hooker; and his inability to stop singing after he innocently eats brownies laced with hashish.

Lieutenant Scanlon investigates an anonymous letter that identifies a member of the precinct as a homosexual. An angry shopper destroys to an elevator's MUZAK machine.

A prisoner claims to be Jesus Christ. A drug dealer is caught with a large stash. An elderly mugger poses as a photographer to entice lonely women.

The detectives are preoccupied with Barney's posted vacation schedules. A string of false alarms suggests that a sniper may be after a cop. A man won't donate a kidney to his ailing brother.

A monk suffers a transgression with a prostitute. Dietrich may not be ideal for mugging detail, especially if in drag.

Harris objects to the fact that the Burmese chauffeur being arrested for a traffic accident is actually an indentured servant.

A bookstore owner is angry when a strip club opens near his store. A man is convinced that he is on the verge of spontaneous combustion.

The clerk that sold Wojo a sick bird changes his strict no-return policy when he learns that the detective is a police officer. A suicide hot line operator becomes suicidal. Harris's book publication is interrupted when Dietrich refuses to sign a release.

A former master criminal becomes incoherent following his lobotomy. A victim is unable to use the telephone to report being mugged because he's Amish.

A judge overrules an attorney by hitting him on the head with a gavel. A woman reports crimes that actually happen on soap operas.

The squad searches for a viral strain stolen from a lab. A woman is convinced that her husband is really a clone.

A detective goes undercover to trap a dentist with instruments that seem to go missing. One man's hands are a nuisance to others and a musical instrument to himself.

Weary apartment dwellers band together to catch a burglar. A census taker takes drastic measures to count an unco-operative target.

Harris poses as a vagrant to go undercover to solve a string of crimes, and then he disappears. A woman wants Wojo or Dietrich to make a baby with her.

Harris disappears while going undercover as a vagrant. Luger chooses to be demoted rather than to retire.

Marty's friend Mr. Driscoll tries to reclaim his son by kidnapping him from a playground. A self-proclaimed time traveler advises Harris to adjust his stock portfolio.

A rash of unusual robberies leads to an eccentric gun collector. A man who is trying to recover his television set robs the police vault. Wojo fears that a depressed Luger is planning to commit suicide.

The staff serves the annual department-mandated ritual day in uniform, except Harris who wears his customary high-end clothes.

Dietrich is arrested for participating in an anti-nuclear rally. A lottery winner dispenses of his prize money by throwing it out a window. Barney discovers he can't afford his apartment now that it is being converted into a condominium.

Harris is assigned to book Dietrich, whose arrest earns a visit from Internal Affairs. A nuclear engineer is arrested for splashing participants with atomic water.

An architect decides to blow up his own building.

An inventor steals the plans for his own invention. The squad tries hypnosis to uncover the name of a criminal that Wojo can't remember.

Barney is discouraged at being passed over yet again for promotion to the rank of deputy inspector.

The department restructures precincts into specialty squads. Luger gets the 12th assigned as a homicide squad. A man murders his barber. A woman hires a hit man to kill her husband and then changes her mind.

Barney's frustration boils over when the new homicide-only edict results in the death of an old friend. Dietrich tracks down the hit man's intended target. Harris woos the precinct's crime photographer.

A drunk and disorderly man turns out to be a delegate from the 1976 Democratic convention. Barney discovers that the newly assigned Officer Nash is not really a police officer.

The precinct's newest detective is convinced that his colleagues are on the take and asks not to be included.

Wojo takes a personal interest in a fellow vet whose crime spree may be related to Agent Orange exposure during the Vietnam War. A domestic dispute occurs at the Brauer household when their apartment building becomes "clothing optional."

The precinct is besieged by a large group of prostitutes. Dorsey develops a protective stance with a young one. Harris receives stock tips from another. Dietrich is tempted by all of them as he experiments with celibacy.

Dietrich feels guilty and resigns when he shoots a felon. A playwright assaults an incompetent actor.

The detectives are edgy because someone is sending specific information about them to Internal Affairs. Harris sets up a reunion between an elderly cat burglar and his wife who reported him missing years ago.

Harris is assigned to direct a pornographic movie for an investigation. An former-generation radio news reporter assaults a young television anchor.

Audience members at the screening of Harris' over-budget film include a blind mugging victim and an overeager charity collector.

A mugger claims he was following a psychic vision. A language professor vandalizes a grammatically incorrect billboard.

Barney anxiously waits for news about Wojo who chased a looter into the Hudson River. A deaf woman is arrested for prostitution.

A gypsy has an incredibly compelling motive for harassing the owner of a novelty store. A librarian takes extreme measures to enforce quiet among her patrons.

Wojo asks Barney's daughter out on a date. A sporting goods store owner takes the law in his own hands. Arnold Ripner sues Harris over the lawyer's portrayal in the detective's novel.

Barney is charged with contempt of court when he refuses to name an informant. A restaurant may have refused to serve a man because of his appearance.

While Barney spends the night in jail for contempt of court, Harris supervises the squad room.

An expensive doll is abducted for ransom. A man claims he was swindled out of a ticket on the space shuttle. Luger names Barney as a beneficiary in his will.

A woman threatens to blow up the squad room with a homemade bomb. The jury reaches a verdict in Harris's libel suit. Retired Detective Phil Fish drops in for a visit.

Luger turns a small disturbance with the Hassidic community into a full-blown riot. The squad discovers a survivalist couple setting up their housekeeping in the sewer (steam tunnels)

The detectives object to wearing their new bulletproof vests. Luger interviews the detectives in case of the need for an obituary.

The officers arrest a rainmaker, only to discover that he was hired by the drought-ridden city. Wojo, Harris, and Dietrich each consider applying for a job opening in vice.

Harris is forced to liquidate his possessions to pay the judgment in Arnold Ripner's lawsuit.

Wojo is proved innocent in a paternity suit, but at a price. An angry patron vandalizes a theater. A beauty queen is robbed.

Harris signs a contract for a new book. A lottery winner seeks revenge when the ticket seller loses his winning ticket. Luger manipulates Barney into writing a letter to his mail-order bride.

A car thief's conscience haunts him twenty-five years after the fact. An overzealous sanitation officer goes haywire. Levitt saves a child from certain danger.

A disorderly conduct report leads to a man who insists he's possessed by an evil spirit. A husband is arrested for forcing his wife into designer jeans.

A Peace Corps recruiter goes overboard at a job fair. Dietrich volunteers for a department stress experiment.

A computer game processor manufacturer is accused of espionage. An U. S. Army Specialist supplements her income as a prostitute.

The precinct is overrun with vagrants on Christmas. A merchant uses a cattle prod as his weapon of choice. A greeting card writer snaps.

The survivor of a tontine attempts suicide so he can leave the money to his cousin.

The detectives work in uniform while Levitt and the others take their sergeant's exams. While working with the squad, Luger is overly rough with a perpetrator, and later with Barney.

Street clowns are being attacked by a serial mugger. A hundred inmates are secretly evacuated from holding in the middle of the night.

Harris and Dietrich are forced to share an apartment in seclusion with an unco-operative murder witness until he talks. Lieutenant Scanlon falls for a wealthy mugging victim.

Harris and Dietrich drive each other ever crazier as they continue to be confined to their hotel room with their unco-operative witness. Lieutenant Scanlon's wealthy target of affection files harassment charges against him.

A nuclear activist goes on a hunger strike to protest the nuclear arms race. Dietrich aids an elderly psychiatric patient who may be speaking a foreign language. Barney declines a deputy inspector nomination.

A disgruntled member burglarizes MENSA headquarters.

A newspaper obituary creates a commotion when the subject is discovered to be alive. The detectives arrest a modern-day chicken thief.

Internal Affairs is called in when an arrest target levels a charge of excessive force against Wojo. An angry parent takes action when an exclusive kindergarten denies admission to his child.

Dietrich's old flame pays him a visit. A former child actor hits his agent with a telephone.

The Harris-Ripner conflict reaches a boiling point. A mugging victim confesses to a twenty-five- year-old crush on Barney.

A museum presses charges when an Indian lifts his tribe's ancestral bones from an exhibit. A scoutmaster catches a mugger.

Wojo's discovery of an ancient weapon results in a buyer expressing interest in the precinct building.

The interested buyer purchases the precinct building. Dietrich arrests the head of a crime school. Luger tries to bail out on his mail-order bride.

Everyone drops by to pay their last respects as the detectives prepare for new assignments. Harris contemplates resignation when he's assigned to Flushing Meadows. Barney recalls departed friends before he turns out the lights for the final time.