Archie's freeloading cousin, Oscar, dies in the guest bedroom. Archie and Mike host an impromptu wake in their home as they ponder whether to hold a funeral service or simply dispose of Oscar's body as cheaply as possible.

An artist friend of the Stivics wants to paint a portrait of Gloria in her birthday suit, prompting a debate over the morality of nude art.

Archie manages to get himself arrested when he goes to rescue Mike from an out-of-control protest.

Edith writes a poem and gets a letter from a company that wants to turn it into a song for only $30. Archie buys a "dog alarm" and a gun to protect the house all for only $60. The family gets into an argument over which is more important and Archie agrees to give the gun back. That night two burglars, who have just robbed a jewelry store, break into the house and hold the Bunkers hostage until the heat is off. At one point, the thief threatens to take off with the $30 but Edith talks him out of it by offering to sing the song. After hearing her sing, they decide that the Bunkers are in such sad shape that it would be cruel to rob them. The next day Archie reads in the newspaper that the crooks were arrested, and Mike reveals that he fixed the dog alarm by replacing it with Edith's singing.

On their first anniversary, Mike and Gloria reminisce (in flashback) the first time Gloria brought the Meathead home to meet the man that would become his father-in-law.

Archie and Mike argue over who's the best candidate in a local election.

Edith's shopping cart gets away from her, resulting in a minor paint scratch. Out of the cart pops a can of "mmmm-mmmm" (cling peaches) in heavy syrup, causing a dent in the hood. Edith leaves a note on the car and the owner comes by to collect the damages.

A corrupt real estate agent encourages Archie to sell his home for more than its market value.

Mike's anxiety over his upcoming college exams causes him to temporarily become sexually impotent.

At the same time Archie is told to lay off part of his crew at work, he gets a notice informing him that his homeowner's insurance has been canceled.

Archie is eager to watch his "man-in-the-street" interview on "The CBS Evening News" with Walter Cronkite, but can't find a working television set.

Edith's liberal cousin, Maude Findlay, arrives to help in caring for a flu-ridden Archie and Mike.

Archie is depressed at Christmas because his boss canceled his holiday bonus (purportedly for screwing up a work order) and he doesn't know how to break the news to his family.

Archie is a passenger in an elevator that stalls between floors, and reacts predictably to his fellow passengers: A black businessman, a scatterbrained secretary and a Puerto Rican man and his very pregnant wife, who goes into labor.

Edith's irritability as of late may be a sign of her going through menopause. Archie is frustrated when he finds out she can't possibly have her "change of life" in 30 seconds.

A visiting FBI agent's investigation puts Archie's longtime friendship with an old war buddy in jeopardy.

Mike's ex-girlfriend contends that he fathered her 4-year-old son. Mike strongly denies he ever became serious with her, but furious Gloria and irate Archie aren't interested in his side of the story.

Archie doesn't want to appear in court as a witness when he sees a mugging. When finally approached by a detective, he claims gangsters were responsible.

When Mike and Gloria are gone, Archie and Edith get a chance to share quality time at home alone.

Edith's wealthy cousin gives her a mink as a present.

The classic tale about the time Sammy Davis Jr. stopped by to visit the Bunkers. It begins with a briefcase he left in Archie's cab ... and ends with the kiss of infamy.

Edith tries to mediate a grievance after Archie is accused of breaking a coin-operated washing machine at the Laundromat. Will her efforts succeed before the matter proceeds to small-claims court?

Archie frets over the man with whom Edith shared something special before they met.

Archie and Edith travel to upstate New York to attend Carol Findlay's wedding.