After Kyle clicks on the latest iTunes user agreement without reading it, Steve Jobs forces him to be an unwilling participant in his latest project. Meanwhile, Cartman equates his mom not giving him an iPad to sexual abuse.

After Jimmy holds his own comedy awards and declares that the Germans are the least funny people in the world, the country proves him wrong by building Funnybot, a robot comedian.

During the televised Canadian royal wedding, the bride-to-be is kidnapped by an unknown entity. After a call to arms is issued to Canadians, Ike travels to Canada, abandoning his role in Mr. Mackey's kindergarten play about dental hygiene.

Thinking the school has posted the size of all the kid's penises for the whole school to see, Cartman works all the boys up into tizzy. The principal decides it's time to address Cartman's anger issues by having him take anger management classes. Cartman uses his anger to enrage the class and hold a business hostage. Stan's dad decides to teach the students how to properly measure penis size, using complex mathematical formulas.

Feeling guilty after watching another commercial about helpless children set to Sarah McLachlan singing, Kyle volunteers and is shocked to find Cartman helping crack babies at the hospital already. Kyle gets drawn into Cartman's despicable plot, thinking he can also help the crack babies.

When a sushi restaurant opens in South Park, the owner of City Wok thinks it will steal his business, since no-one knows that Chinese and Japanese aren't the same thing. Butters is blamed for the turf war and sent to therapy.

Stan turns ten and suddenly things change and everything seems like crap to him; music, movies, food, and life in general.

Stan is diagnosed with Asperger's but soon realizes that the disease isn't real. Meanwhile, Cartman creates a disgusting overnight food sensation.

During a game of border patrol vs. Mexicans, where the kids play the two groups, Butters goes missing and eventually winds up in Mexico where he becomes their new leader, Mantequilla. Suddenly legal and illegal alien Mexicans flood back across the border to Mexico for a better life because of the decline of the U.S. economy. Eric joins the U.S. border patrol and squares off against Butters.

When South Park Elementary is the victim of a gossip website named Eavesdropper, all hell breaks loose - who will save the day; Cartman or Gerbil King Lemmiwinks?

Randy discovers a secret: women give blow jobs after seeing stage musicals because there are hidden subliminal references to blow jobs in the songs and women don't know it. Shelly has a love interest.

When Cartman's lack of fitness starts impacting on the "99%" of kids at South Park Elementary, he has to deal with some too-close-to-home revenge killings.

Upon Eric's advice, the boys use The History Channel's special on the first thanksgiving, to write their school report, but Stan has misgivings when the special insists aliens were part of it. A secret organization, a pilgrim from outer space, a stuffing shortage, and war between two worlds hangs in the balance and only the boys are caught in the midst of it all.

Kenny and his siblings are taken into care when their parents are arrested for being drunk white trash. After finding out he is now the poorest kid in school, Cartman decides a foster would be better.